Why is it that whenever we are feeling the strain from the things that life throws at us we gaze across at our neighbour and assume that things for them must be so much easier?! They must have more money, more time, better health, better luck, nicer house, newer car...there seems no end to the better deal that others around us seem to have!
I really had to put this month's life lesson (Don't
compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about) into practise when I had some wonderful news from a friend recently that whilst a source of great joy, also made me feel quite sad, jealous even at their good fortune. When I asked my husband why I was reacting the way I was he said, 'human nature I guess'. But really can we blame 'human nature' for these feelings that well up inside of us when we compare ourselves to others and find ourselves wishing our own lives could be different?
I was reading a book recently when I found an explanation that really made sense to me. When tackling the big 'why me' question, the author writes about how we are all given the life we are meant to live - each persons 'cross to bear' is different based on the skills we have to cope and live through it. Someones cancer is the next persons bush-fire, is the next persons death of a relative. My good friend who has had children way more easily than I have, has spent the last 18 months living through the earthquakes of Christchurch. We joke about not wanting to swap our situations!! - both of us quite happy managing our own personal 'disasters' as we know we have the inner resources to cope with them.
And so next time you feel overwhelmed at life, and you have the temptation to pass that glance to someone else and compare your life instead pause; and Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be, living the life that was written for you, with all the skills and resources you need to see you through another day. Someone Else's life may look rosier to you, but you have no idea what is happening in their day, or the path they have had to walk along to get to where you are observing them from.
We all like to think we would like a day walking in someone Else's shoes, but the truth is there are always things in life unseen and that day would never pan out the way that we think it would if we were them. Our job is to be content with ourselves just the way we are, to continue to dream and strive towards all the things in life that we desire, and to live each day with the grace and gratitude and knowledge that we are exactly where, and who, we are meant to be.
